Whoops… it’s been awhile.
There are a lot of things I should have been blogging about
in the past two weeks. To be terribly honest it’s been such a whirlwind I’ve
barely had time to balance school planning, April vacation planning, job
searching and an active social life… throw in the warm weather and I think that
besides sleeping I haven’t spent more than 2 hours in my room a day in the last
two weeks.
But perhaps I should have been keeping you updated on that
time…
We went to the
theatre and saw 3 middle-aged men on stage naked except for some cardboard
cutouts of clothing items that were swiveled and swapped periodically
throughout a song about two nudists living in an apartment.
 |
| World's Greatest Cheese |
I tried what was proclaimed “World’s Greatest Cheese 2011”
at the foyer wine and cheese tasting. It was French, naturally.
A student asked me if he could come to more of my classes to
practice his English.
I went to La Rochelle, France on a day trip and got to lie
on the beach and look at pirate graffiti all in one day.
 |
| La Rochelle |
We stayed out dancing late enough to get a bakery croissant
on the bike ride home.
We were invited to dinner from someone who works in
administration from our school… and were treated to 3 bottles of wine, foie gras,
quiche, 6 different types of cheeses, and fruit salad dessert. The last of
which was served at midnight. Because that’s how long French dinners can last
sometimes.
We went to the beach on a Wednesday and it was the perfect
day.
But you’re in for a treat today, dear blog readers (who I
hope haven’t given up on me despite my lack of posts recently). Today I shall give you a glimpse at one of
the best parts of attempting to speak a foreign language in daily life… the
mistakes. All the “bloopers” if you will. My mother has heard most of these and
encouraged me to share them with you. I hope you find them as humorous as these
real-life situations have been, and I’ll do my best to help you understand even
if you don’t speak both languages.
The first is not so much a language mistake but a big part
of living here all the same- the simple
freedom in being able to say whatever you want, in any situation, because you
think no one can understand you. Speaking English here allows you to loudly say
things like “It smells like someone poo’d their pants on this tram” without
worrying about offending the person who does smell like they poo’d their pants.
Until someone leans over and asks you in perfect English where you’re from. Which
happened not all that long ago.
For the second, I first must apologize because I try to
avoid using names in my blog, but at this point it is necessary to understand
the joke…
One assistant moved into the foyer about a week before
everyone else and was quite lonely and eager for us all to get here. The staff
knew she would want to meet any new residents as soon as they arrived, and they
told her when Thomas (pronounced Toe-Ma in French) moved in.
She replied that no, she did not want any “tomates”
(pronounced Toe-mahts in French) because she had just purchased them from the
store.
The foyer staff tried to tell her that no, Thomas was
English.
She then told them that she had purchased “tomates” from
Spain, but that’s ok. They didn’t have to be English.
One evening, while lounging around downstairs making some
kind of delicious treat, our English friend declined said delicious treat
stating “Non, je n’aime pas les amandes” (No, I don’t like almonds) which
sounded a lot like “Non, je n’aime pas les allemands” (No I don’t like Germans).
Which unfortunately our German friend
overheard.
My friends and I were walking to the tram stop to go out
for the night, and one friend was in the middle of telling us a detailed “I was
almost mugged by a group of 13 year olds at Espace Diderot” story. A French friend
interrupted and asked “Oú ça?” (where did this happen?). My friend stopped
his story, looked puzzled for a minute, and thinking he had been interrupted by someone saying "Bonsoir" (Good Evening) replied “Bonsoir” before continuing his story.We now like to throw this word randomly into our conversations.
One of our French friends sometimes likes to use his conversational
English with us. While playing a game he called us a “Shitter”. You meant “Cheater” right? Unless you are
trying to tell me that I smell like I just poo’d my pants on the tram.
We have since teased this friend a lot because of this
one, hilarious mistake. Sometimes we like to call him a Shitter just for fun.
He got very defensive one particular time that we were teasing him. Trying to
make him feel better, my English friend told him “Non, tu me fais plaisir avec
ta langue”, trying to say “Your language makes me happy” but instead saying “You
give me pleasure with your tongue”. The
tables then turned, who was laughing at who.
Along that unintentional sexual note, even though the 2
kiss on the cheek tradition is called “les bises” and the verb that you are
taught in school for “to kiss” is “se baiser”… nowadays it means “to have sex”. This vocabulary is very useful
when gossiping in French… I once accidently told a friend that I saw someone
having sex on the dance floor of a bar one night. Which in France, the capital
of PDA, I would not be all that surprised to see, but was not the case this specific time.
I almost forgot, the time that someone was explaining that they were making dinner with a pan and said "cuisiner a poele", which came out a lot like saying that she was cooking naked in her room instead.
And my favorite… One of my friends was horrified to learn
that instead of yelling what he thought was “Repeat after me”, he was instead
yelling “Fart again, after me” to his middle school children in class. How
those kids stifled their giggles is still a mystery.
Learn another language. It’s funny.
Bisous,
Steph
